Thursday 23 August 2012

The 7 BADventures of Sin!

"THE ASYLUM presents" sigh... really... just... godsdamn...

A boat is in a Bermuda Triangle knockoff and sinks, so Jerkwad McGetoffthescreen decides he has to win the day and heads in, only to end up on an island that sinks (because it is on a whale??), only to be picked up by a flying creature, dumped on another island (same one?), suddenly teleport from the coast to the jungle, then get in a rockslide so he can teleport again to a cave set, then get captured by several different groups, before finally drilling some rock to free the ship and save the world from being destroyed by tornadoes, finally ending on random images...

It seems. Or something like that. The plot was a mess, is what I'm trying to say. It doesn't help that Patrick Muldoon is completely unlikeable as Sinbad, and the only decent parts of the movie are when he isn't on screen, because when he is, everything has to be about him, and he just isn't worth watching! Everyone, anyone, is more interesting to watch, from whatshername to whozits....

This was made back in 2010, and is a perfect example of why Asylum should never have been allowed to make movies....

[END]

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