Thursday 6 February 2014

Mega Mecha Shark!

This is it! This is the epitome of everything The Asylum has been building up to! This is as epic a movie as they are capable of! Oohhh....

Tired of all the huge shark attacks, the Navy gets themselves a robot shark for the next time there's an attack. And, inevitably, there's another megladon. And so the battle is on! Shark vs Shark! Stupid Set Pieces vs Inept Characterisation! Incomprehensible Screen Images vs Child Endangerment! Shots Ripped From Other Movies vs A Huge Robot Shark Tearing Through The Streets of Sydney! Okay... that last bit was rather cool. Ultimately we get the final end with lots of death...

Starring (either because they had nothing better to do, or this is the equivalent of slumming in notable terrible movies) Elizabeth Rohm and Christopher Judge. With an appearance by Debbie Gibson, who has been in other mega shark movies, so this is a universe.

They try. They really do. There's lot of places around the world, there are tons of different actors and extras, there are shots you would expect to see in better movies... but they still can't pull it off. They so clearly want to... but just can't quite do it.

Good try, Asylum, have a pat on the head... but we'll continue to watch you like the proud puppy you are that's just done a mess on the carpet...

[END]

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